(This post was originally written for Mother’s Day but it continues to be the most read. I’m sure you’ll see why!)
I’ve discovered the Secret of what Moms really want.
I promise to tell you what this is but first, let’s take a deep dive into the life of a Modern Mom.
The Life of a Modern Mom
Modern Moms “have it all”. Career, kids, family, and house.
Modern Moms have the best of intentions. They want to raise happy, healthy, well educated children who are polite and will go on to have a swell life. They want to be a can-do employee and perhaps climb the corporate ladder. They want to cook delicious and nutritious, colorful dinners. They want their house to look like a Pinterest page.
Real Moms can usually be found doing one of the following things:
Putting away dishes, folding laundry, preparing a quick dinner, helping with homework and book reports, driving the team to soccer or dance, grabbing 10 minutes on the laptop to pay a bill or answer a work email.
The Modern Mom wants to LOOK good. She wants to be slim, healthy, energetic and do yoga.
Real Moms want a few extra minutes of sleep and dream of one glorious day alone. Real moms would like to shove GOOP in Gwyneth Paltrow’s face.
Modern Moms “do it all” by themselves. The Modern Mom is unstoppable.
It sounds impossible… because it is. The reality is that Moms are tired. They take care of others first and do what they absolutely have to and then the rest gets left undone.
This is usually the house. Because little people and the jobs cannot wait or be pushed aside. The house can wait.
The TRUTH is that the house neatness really is not important.
Except that it makes moms FEEL bad.
Moms need constant reminders that messy is ok because we don’t FEEL like it is ok.
Being a mom is incredibly rewarding. Any hard work is. It’s more than any accomplishment. More than any job will ever give. Money is not the reward. The reward is LOVE. The unconditional love of a child and family is better than any salary, stock option or title.
And it's what Moms are most proud of at the end of the day.
Modern Moms compare themselves to other moms. They usually feel that they come up short. Modern Moms hide their doubts. But, it is just not reasonable to think that a Mom can do it all by herself.
From the beginning of civilization until about the 1970s (which is technically forever), Moms had families to help them. Grandmas would pitch in with housework or help with the kids and offer guidance. Not anymore. Grandmas either work or live far away or are busy with other things. Modern Moms can no longer count on getting help from someone they do not feel badly about asking for help. Modern Moms suddenly, no longer have the benefit of a trusted person just stepping in to help without ever having to ask for it.
If you are like me and the Modern Moms I work with, you were raised by a Modern Mom who worked and scrambled to get the house in order. There was no rule book in the 70s on how to work and raise kids and manage a house. My mom was certainly, bravely, flying by the seat of her pants. How could these moms have been expected to know or even teach their own children how to manage it all?
How do Modern Moms learn to be Modern Moms?
This is the huge question that once daunted me and is really the reason why I became an Organizer. But, for a moment please, back to our original question...
Now, without further ado, here is the Secret.
Help. A better way.
She asks for help all the time, even begs for it, but who in the family really knows what the heck she wants? What does she mean?
HELP. Not just any help. Help from her clone- another mom. Moms want SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. Moms want that someone to read their mind!
That is where Organizers come in. Really.
A disorganized house, makes Mom’s life harder. But she doesn’t have the TIME or ENERGY to make it better.
Organizers know exactly what help mom needs and will get it done.
We will purge the kitchen cabinets, the junk drawer, the closets, the clothes, the toys- take away the outdated and the junk and put her house in order.
We will work directly with children to organize their bedroom and teach the child simple ways to keep it neat on their own! (Mom- go have a cup of tea).
Organizers are the updated version of the “home economics” course we used to take in high school. Organizers know a better way.
After putting your house in order, we will give the whole family tips and hacks to make managing your home easier.
The kids rooms
Even the food and meal planning.
The fantasy is that Moms want their house to be ready for guests, they want to open the kitchen cabinets and find everything neatly put away by category. They want their closets to be arranged beautifully with all things they love to wear and their underwear drawer to look like a Victoria’s Secret display.
More realistically they do not want to be embarrassed when someone comes to the door, and they don’t want to have to hunt for the flour in the pantry and they don’t want to scramble to pick out their clothes in the morning.
Give Mom the help she needs and wants.
Give Mom the gift of an organized closet and an organized kitchen. (Don't forget the flowers) Moms- pass this post on to your spouse or partner. Hint- hint.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Did you enjoy this post? Does it ring true for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments.